(These are real notes from parents. Spelling left intact)

1. My son is under a doctor’s care and should not take PE today. Please execute him.
2. Please excuse lisa for being absent she was sick and I had her shot.
3. Please excuse roland from p.e. for a few days. Yesterday he fell out of a tree and misplaced his hip.
4. John has been absent because he had two teeth taken out of his face.
5. Carlos was absent yesterday because he was playing football. He was hurt in the growing part.
6. Please excuse ray from school. He had very loose vowels.
7. Please excuse tommy for being absent yesterday. He had diarrhea, and his boots leak.
8. Please excuse jimmy for being. It was his fathers fault.
9. Sally won’t be in school a week from Friday. We have to attend her funeral.
10. Please excuse Jason for being absent yesterday. He had a cold and could not breed well.