At the exercise class I was told to wear loose-fitting clothing. If I Had loose-fitting clothing, I wouldn’t have signed up in the first place.

I wonder if other dogs think poodles are members of a weird religious cult.

Life expectancy would grow by leaps and bounds if green vegetables smelled as good as bacon.

Two young boys were arguing about their fathers. One little boy said, “Your daddy is a creep.” The second little boy said, “Your daddy is a creep too.” The third little boy, not wanting his daddy to be left out, said, “My daddy is a creep too.”

A police recruit was asked, “What would you do if you had to arrest you own mother?” He answered, “I would call for backup.”