“Man Kills Self Before Shooting Wife and Daughter.” (I wonder if the jury will try him in person ?)

“Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash, Experts Says” (The passengers would probably agree)

“Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers” (Something needs to be done about jaywalkers)

“Miners Refuse to Work after Death” (Their wages will probably be stopped at that time too)

“Red Tape Holds UP New Bridges” (That must be stronger than duct tape)

“War Dims Hope for Peace” (I can see where it might have that effect)

“Typhoon Rips Through Cemetery; Hundreds Dead” (Were they all just lately buried ?)