Brooke Shields:
“Smoking kills. If you’re killed, you’ve lost a very important part of your life.”

Winston Bennett (basketball player):
“I’ve never had major knee surgery on any other part of my body.”

Al Gore:
“It isn’t pollution that’s harming the environment. It’s the impurities in our air and water that’s are doing it.”

Department of Social Services:
“Your food stamps will be stopped effective March 1992 because we received notice that you passed away. May God bless you. You may reapply if there is a change in your circumstances.”

Mark S. Fowler, FCC Chairman:
“ If somebody has a bad heart, they can plug this jack in at night as they go to bed and it will monitor their heart through the night. And the next morning, when they wake up dead, there’ll be a record.”

Heather Whitestone, Miss America 1995:
Question: “ If you could live forever, would you and why?”
Answer: “I would not live forever, because we should not live forever, because if we were supposed to live forever, then we would live forever, but we cannot live forever, which is why I would not live forever.”