ACTUAL SENTENCES IN MEDICAL RECORDS

1. The patient has no previous history of suicide.

2. Patient has left her white blood cells at another hospital.

3. Patient has chest pains if she lies on her left side for over a year.

4. On the second day the knee was better and on the third day it disappeared.

5. Discharge status: Alive, but without my permission

6. She is numb from her toes down.

7. Between you and me, we ought to be able to get this lady pregnant.

8. The patient was to have a bowel resection. However, he took a job as a stock broker instead.

9. The lab test indicted abnormal lover function.

10. When she fainted, her eye rolled around the room.

11. She stated that she had been constipated for most of her life until she got a divorce.

12. Patient was alert and unresponsive.

13. Occasional, constant infrequent headaches.


A MOTHER HOLDS HER CHILD’S HAND FOR A WHILE, BUT SHE HOLDS HER CHILD IN HER HEART FOR LIFE TIME.