*If a man yells “YOU LIE!” in a room full of politicians, how do they know who he’s talking to?

*Age does not diminish the extreme disappointment of having a scoop of ice cream fall off the cone.

*The Cardiologist’s diet: “If it tastes good, spit it out!”

*How did we put man on the moon before we figured out how to put wheels on luggage?

For Golfers: An elderly golfer was complaining to his wife that his eyesight had gotten so bad he couldn’t see where his ball went after he hit it.  His wife said, “That’s understandable at your age Jack, why don’t you take my brother Scott along.  He’s 85 but his eye sight is perfect and he could watch your ball. The next day jack teed off with Scott looking on. Jack swung, and the ball disappeared down the middle of the fairway. “Do you see it?” asked Jack.  “Yup,” Scott answered.  “Well, where is it?” asked Jack, peering off into the distance. “I forgot,” said Scott.

After putting her grandchildren to bed, a grandmother changed into old slacks and a droopy blouse and proceeded to wash her hair.  As she heard the children getting more and more rambunctious, her patience grew thin.  At last she threw a towel around her head and stormed into their room, putting them back in bed with stern warnings. As she left the room, she heard the three year old say with a trembling voice, “Who was THAT?”